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Place SetterWJ guide to devising your seating plans…

By now you probably have a good idea of who will be attending your wedding. Where you are going to put them is probably another matter entirely. From the moment you start receiving your reply cards you should be thinking about where your guests will be seated.

THE CEREMONY
Whatever kind of ceremony you have chosen to have, it's normal for the bride's guests to sit on the left side of the aisle and for the groom's friends and family sit on the right.

The role of guiding people to their places falls upon the ushers. The number of ushers you have depends on the number of guests attending. Although a very small wedding may not need any ushers at all, it is generally accepted that you should have one usher for every 50 guests.

While today it is quite acceptable for an usher to greet guests and show them to their seats, traditionally the usher would offer his right arm to female guests and accompany her down the aisle to her seat, with her male companion following behind.

For the service, the bride's parents will sit in the front on the left hand side, with immediate family sitting behind. On the other side of the church the groom's family should
be seated in the same way, with
the parents in the front row and
their family behind.

Seating difficulties can easily arise when either the bride or the groom's parents are divorced. Depending on the specific situation and the relationships of the people involved, there are various ways to handle the situation.

If the mother and father in question are still on good terms there is no reason why they could not still be seated together on the front row. If relations have deteriorated however it may be more appropriate to seat them separately. In such a situation the mother should be seated in front, with her new partner if she has one. The father should then be seated behind in the second row.

Depending on the type of ceremony you are having, you may want to reserve specific seats for certain guests. Reserved seating cards should be placed on the pews to avoid confusion. Reserved seating cards can be included with invitations. All the guest needs to do then is bring this with them to the ceremony and show it to the usher, who can then guide them to the correct seat.

To keep things simple you should print out a full guest list for the ushers, advising whether guests are to be seated on the bride or grooms side and advising where they should be placed for the service.

While it is usual to divide guests between the bride and the groom's side of the church there are circumstances where this arrangement may not be suitable, for example if one family has many more guests than the other. In this instance guests should be split evenly on both sides of the venue.

The last person to be seated should be the bride's mother. Her entrance should indicate to the rest of the guests that the ceremony is about to begin. Guests who arrive after her should not be guided to their places by the ushers but slip into the nearest empty place.

THE RECEPTION
As each reply comes in it is a good idea to jot each name of the guest down on an individual piece of paper. In the long run, this simple step will save you from writing out list after list of names as you shuffle your guests around, deciding where they should sit at the reception.

Once you have a good idea of the number of guests who will be attending, contact the venue and request a table plan. Find out from the venue if the tables are fixed or whether they can be moved around the floor.

Although in an ideal world you'd get your seating arrangement right first time, your quite likely to need to do a few drafts before you get things perfect. Make several copies of your plan so you can scrap and start again as necessary.

THE TOP TABLE
Rather than having a traditional dais, many couples now seat themselves and their attendants at a standard round or rectangular table among the guests. This makes for a more informal arrangement and a more intimate mood than the traditional rectangular top table.

If however you do want to follow tradition, the top table usually comprises of the bride and groom, their parents, the best man and the chief bridesmaid. If both sets of parents are in conventional relationships deciding who sits where is a relatively straight forward matter.

The following plan depicts the traditional seating arrangements.

In cases where either set of parents is no longer together, things can become rather more complicated. Other family members, such as step-parents, are usually not considered part of the traditional bridal party and so are therefore not seated at the top table but at a table close by.

WHO SITS WHERE?
The first thing to do when deciding where to place your guests it to place individuals into groups, gathering them together closest to the head table in order of priority - depending on your own wishes those who sit nearest could be close friends or immediate family.

While arranging tables into family groups or sets of friends may help your guests relax it won't encourage them to mingle.

Ideally try to make sure that every one knows one or two other people at their table, keeping in mind existing conflicts, fiery relationships or x-partnerships.

At most wedding receptions male and female guests are placed alternately. Couples should always be kept together. Although it is common practice to place single guests at one table this isn't necessarily a good idea. Singles tables have somewhat of a stigma attached to them. While it might prove easy for you to place all your single friends together, it may make your guests feel a little awkward.

Instead, consider mixing your tables, grouping guests together because of their similarities rather than their relationship status. Think about who has similar hobbies, jobs, interests and who is likely to get along with who.

- Traditional timetable of events: The reception - The arrival of bridal party - Receiving line - bridal party greets guests - Drinks reception - Wedding banquet - Speeches and toasts (before or after meal) - Cutting of the cake - Bride and groom's first dance - Entertainment (Band/DJ) - Throwing the Bouquet - Going-away