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Post Nuptial Depression: How to beat the blues

It's been estimated that one-in-ten newlyweds experience feelings of depression and in some cases; these feelings can last for months. Wedding Journal looks at the issue of 'post nuptial depression' and what can be done to beat the blues...

It's not something many brides and grooms will admit to, but feeling low after your wedding, is a very real problem indeed.

It may have been the happiest day of your life, but the run up will no doubt have been a very stressful and frenetic time and once the big day is over, couples can feel low and deflated.

Women, in particular, are most at risk of post-wedding blues, as they tend to be more actively involved in the planning and there is a whole set of long-standing emotional issues and expectations attached to being a bride.

For many women, their wedding day has been in their mind since they were young girls and, with it suddenly behind them, the anticlimax can be quite overwhelming.

Women tend to emotionalise things, and society puts a lot of emphasis on the blushing bride and how she looks, so there's a great deal of stress there. After being the centre of attention and feeling special for so long, it's often hard to cope when that disappears.

Banish the 'post wedding' blues

*Talk to each other. This is really important as the pressure to appear wonderfully happy can be immense and if you can't tell your other half your true feelings, things don't bode well for the future. Confide in each other. Speak honestly. Above all make it clear to each other that it's the 'come down' after the event that is making you feel low, not the relationship.

*Plan a holiday. Because of the recession and the growing costs of getting married, some couples are forgoing a honeymoon and therefore, the wedding anti climax begins the day after the ceremony. Counteract this by starting to plan a lovely romantic holiday in the future. This could be a year or five years away – the thing to do is start planning and saving now as it gives you both something to look forward to again.

*Focus on the future. If you have been lucky enough to enjoy a dream honeymoon and feel you have nothing to look forward to now, then organise or start planning something. It doesn't have to be another luxury holiday, but perhaps a cheap, weekend break or day out with a difference. Maybe a train trip, or a day at the seaside – just the two of you.

*Be a couple. The most important thing to do after your wedding is for the two of you to concentrate on being a couple and enjoy being together. Take it easy, laze around together, organise date nights. These don't have to be expensive – a takeaway or a movie, or a long walk at dusk, stopping for coffee.

*Don't try to be perfect. If you find yourselves arguing all the time on your return from honeymoon, don't worry too much at this stage. You both have been under immense pressure and the tension has to be released.

It is important to remember that things don't need to be perfect all the time. In real life, on many occasions, both husband and wife will need to compromise to make things work, whilst at other times one of them (in turn) will need to give in. Although absolute perfection in a couple may not be achievable, harmony is.