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More and more wedding couples are breaking away from tradition and writing their own wedding vows. Here Wedding Journal looks at what you can, can't and should be saying on your wedding day...

What is a wedding vow? Take away all the fashion, fuss and ceremony surrounding the modern wedding and what are you left with - the vows. When it comes down to basics, the vows are the wedding; in fact the word ‘wed' is simply Anglo-Saxon for ‘vow'.

With such a central role to play on the day, it is no wonder that more and more couples are choosing to personalise marriage vows.

When is it okay to personalise vows When is it okay to personalise wedding vows? If you are thinking of writing your own wedding vows you need to be aware that there are certain statutory phrases in both civil and religious ceremonies that must be said to make your vows legal. Always check with your minister, priest or registrar how much freedom you have to add your own personal touches.

Don't assume that because you are having a civil ceremony you can say what you like - some registrars have fixed views about what they will and will not permit.

What is it you want to say? The main reason couples chose to write their own wedding vows is because they feel the traditional ‘I promise to love honour and obey' lines just aren't personal enough to their relationship. Choosing to write your own marriage vows is a serious commitment, as what you say needs to be an accurate reflection of your love for each other. It's vital that you appear sincere and meaningful in the words that you choose.

Don't feel obliged to make promises you don't believe in. One of the most important popular lines to include with modern couples is a promise to always say ‘sorry' when you have done something wrong, as arguments will be inevitable.

Writing style It is easy when writing your wedding vows to forget that you will not just be talking to your partner when you say them - these vows are a public declaration of your love for each other, so don't include anything too personal.

Try to use pretty language and emotive words; this is a personal promise you are writing, not an official document. You may not like the wording of the traditional wedding vows, but they do have a wonderful rhythm and flow to them. ‘To have and to hold, from this day forward; for better for worse; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, til death do us part...' Consider using this pattern and lyricism as your inspiration.

In search of inspiration Look to your relationship for inspiration when it comes to planning what you're going to say. A natural start is to express your feelings for each other and why you are making this commitment together. What are your hopes for married life, what will you be doing to keep your marriage alive? Consider the specific promises that you want to make to each other as husband and wife. Words, which you might like to include may be; share, trust, support, laugh; to be honest, faith, kind, considerate and so on.

You could look for romantic poems and passages in books and on the Internet. For a religious ceremony the Bible is full of classics such as the First Epistle to the Corinthians, Chapter 13: ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast...'

Inspiration is a great thing, but don't get carried away. Try to keep your wedding vows short and sweet - two paragraphs maximum, otherwise the words will lose their impact and you risk loosing the attention of your audience.