31 Funny Lines To Include In Your Wedding Vows

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Add a little personality into your wedding vows and make your bride or groom-to-be crack up!

wedding vows

Many couples love the idea of writing their own wedding vows, however the idea of confessing your love in front of an audience of family and friends can feel a little overwhelming.

RELATED TO: 7 Things NOT To Say In Your Wedding Vows

One piece of advice we always give our brides and grooms is whatever you do – make sure it’s authentic to you! That comes right down to the wedding vows and speeches. If you’re not an overly soppy couple, you don’t have to be to write some heartfelt wedding vows… because who said they can’t be funny too?

wedding vows

If you need a little help on getting started, we’ve compiled a quick list of hilarious yet adorable lines that can help you sum up your unique love story… Happy writing!

RELATED TO: 10 Wedding Vow Mistakes You Really Don’t Want To Make

  1. We look pretty good right now. What is it we are all dressed up for?
  2. I promise to always wash my beard hairs out of the sink
  3. I promise to NEVER get takeaway without you
  4. I vow to love you just as much as (include pet’s name here)
  5. I vow to always laugh at your jokes (even if they are borderline dad jokes)
  6. I solemnly swear to protect you from spiders as long as we both shall live!
  7. There’s an old Irish saying that goes, Cramagorrah Rowe Egonhah. Wait a minute. I might have accidentally cursed you. I am so sorry
  8. I promise to always help you find your stuff – even when it’s right in front of you!
  9. I vow to annoy you for the rest of our long lives together
  10. I vow to always love you… even when you leave your wet towel on the bed
  11. I want to make bad decisions with you forever
  12. I promise to always let you know when you are making a slight error in fashion judgement
  13. I vow to comfort you when your football team loses… again
  14. Some may think you are a little high maintenance, but the truth is I love maintaining you
  15. I vow to always love you even when I don’t particularly like you
  16. I vow to kiss you even when you have morning breath
  17. From the first day I met you, I knew it would be a lot of work but I can’t say it isn’t worth it
  18. I vow to remember that you are always right and to take the phrase ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’ seriously
  19. I promise to never watch the next episode without you from our series
  20. I promise to pretend to be interested when you talk about football
  21. I promise to always be kind to you… even when assembly IKEA furniture
  22. I vow to always flirt with you – even when we are old and grey
  23. I vow to never gloat when I beat you in a board game (even if it is every time)
  24. I promise to ALWAYS hype you up when I’m taking your selfie
  25. I promise to never rush you when you are getting ready
  26. I vow to always tell you the reservation is half an hour before it actually is so you can be ready just on time!
  27. I vow to always make room for your stuff in my suitcase
  28. I promise you can always choose the takeaway place (MOST of the time!)
  29. I vow to never leave the toilet seat up
  30. You’re the most beautiful, intelligent and funny woman I have… hang on, I can’t read this handwriting
  31. I vow to love you even as you flick through multiple movies without actually picking one to watch
wedding vows

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